One technique that is very helpful for using reflections, in SOAr, is controlling the tone, or more specifically, the intonation of your voice.
When the tone of your voice rises at the end of a statement, it ends up sounding like a question. For example, try saying the following:
- "Financial health is important to you?" (upward)
- "Financial health is important to you." (downward)
- "You've always wanted to visit there?" (upward)
- "You've always wanted to visit there." (downward)
- "True friendship is what you've been seeking?" (upward)
- "True friendship is what you've been seeking." (downward)
Notice the difference? The first sentence ends with upward intonation and comes across as a question. This tone can trigger a Corrective Complex. Rnd the sentence in a downward tone to keep it a statement, which is what reflections are meant to be. In many ways, turning a reflection into a question is equivalent to asking, "Why?" which is a no-no for EQTunement.
Go ahead and try practicing reflections with upward and downward intonation (don't forget to keep it understated as well). Get used to the difference. This may feel odd at first, but with practice it becomes natural and your reflections much more effective in getting the conversation to Collaborative Change.