Level II: The Emotions Scale
The Prime Six are part of a bigger emotional scale framework. There has been scientific research into the vibratory frequencies of human bodies when experiencing different levels of emotional consciousness. There are also studies on how different emotions have psychological and biological impacts on the brain. Using this research, the list of emotions was adapted into a scale for the purpose of enhancing EQ development through conversations.
The Emotions Scale is:
- + 7 Peace
- + 6 Joy
- + 5 Love
- + 4 Understanding
- + 3 Acceptance
- + 2 Optimism
- + 1 Trust
- = 0 Courage
- - 1 Pride
- - 2 Anger
- - 3 Disgust
- - 4 Fear
- - 5 Sadness
- - 6 Hopeless Despair
- - 7 Shame
The actual value of the emotions on the scale is not important. It is the order, and relation of the emotions to each other, that is key to EQ development. In particular, we highlight five emotions for better understanding.
Shame has been measured to be the lowest vibratory frequency in human consciousness. The next step after shame is death. With enough toxic shame, an individual will decide to "hide forever" and fall into very destructive behaviours, including suicide.
As the adage goes, prides always goes before a fall. This is true for the emotional scale. Pride has a negative vibratory frequency in human consciousness. Although not part of the Prime Six, we say that pride is the emotion that begins the downward slope into the rest of the negative levels. Pride also gets us stuck in the Prime Six and leads to inappropriate behaviours. For example, when pride is added to anger and disgust, we feel contempt. Contempt is the number one emotion that leads to failed marriages. Therefore, pride in any conversation will open the door to the Corrective Complex.
The tipping point between the negative and positive level of human consciousness is courage. It takes courage to be vulnerable and authentic with one's emotions. It takes courage to trust the process of Collaborative Change over defaulting to the Corrective Complex. It takes courage to even play the Conversational EQ game! When you act courageously, you are moving into positive emotional possibilities. Courage opens you up for trust, optimism, acceptance, understanding, love, joy and peace.
Joy and Peace
As introduced, joy is the feeling of gladness to be together. EQTunement creates joy. There is both true joy and false joy (sometimes referred to as "pseudo joy"). You can recognize true joy because it is always followed by peace. Peace is that cozy feeling all is right in your life, regardless of circumstances. Many people pursue and mistake false joy for the real stuff. We teach that false joy "BEEPS" because false joy can come from the following:
- Behaviours - acting a certain way
- Events - what's happening around us
- Experiences - activities or encounters
- People - social circles and opinions
- Substances - food, alcohol or drugs
For example, emotional eaters always experience a sense of joy when binge eating. This combines experience and substances. Yet after a meal, there is never any peace. There is often the opposite, such as disgust and shame. This is the reason that developing EQ and pursuing true joy allows us to regulate our emotions and respond appropriately for total peace.
Pride and Courage Game
This game is designed to demonstrate the impact of pride versus courage in relation to the Prime Six. With practice, this game will create an effective technique to apply emotional intelligence to any difficult subject or challenge.
This game should be played between two people, with one person asking the questions and the other answering and sharing.
1: Pick a difficult subject or challenge.
2: Talk about the subject by moving through the Prime Six, starting with anger and moving down to shame.
3. Ask the questions, "How does the emotion of pride relate to the Prime Six emotions you feel?" and, "What does pride look like for you in (subject)?"
4. Then ask the question, "What would courage look like for you in (subject)?"
5. OPTIONAL: Ask the same question using every emotion, moving up from courage all the way to peace. For example, "What does optimism look like for you in (subject)?" Encourage the player to use the "I feel" and "I think" format.
6. Finally, ask the following questions:
- What did you like about this game?
- What surprised you?
- What do you plan to do right away? (Just pick one action and agree on it.)
Again, this helps us develop the skills to switch between pride, which opens us up to the Prime Six and courage which eventually leads to joy and peace.
Tip: This game is especially effective with children. When played right we can learn to answer the question, "What does courage look like here?"
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